“The only way to change your story is to change what you believe about yourself. If you clean up the lies you believe about yourself, the lies you believe about everybody else will change. Every time you change the main character of your story, the whole story changes to adapt to the new main character.”- Don Miguel Ruiz
At the most basic level to attain any sort of happiness or authenticity, you must change the your own view of yourself.You are everything!
We all have our own belief systems and patterns of thinking and causally connect them to systems outside of ourselves (relationships, politics, ethics) but the sad thing is we most often overlook the most crucial component of our thinking, the beliefs we have in place for ourselves.
The way in which we view ourselves affects every aspect of our lives. We build a life around our own self view.
For instance, if I was self conscious about my weight, I would be compelled to wear certain type of clothes to feel comfortable. I may hang out with certain people that make me feel comfortable about myself. I may use our weight as a constant joke, reflecting my inner feelings about myself. I may feel threatened by others I perceived as fitting the mold of what is acceptable (in my own mind). It could even be the case that no one else sees anything wrong with my weight, the insecurity in its entirety exists solely inside of my head.
This is only one belief… imagine how the whole system of beliefs affect our everyday life.
Being on Earth for 30 years I have discovered I talk myself out of things before I even begin. This internal dialogue comes from somewhere. It comes from some belief that I cannot accomplish the said task, maybe that I don’t have what it takes to even start.
I have made a habit to step back from this voice to examine where it comes from and if it is my truth.
It is very important to examine all of our core beliefs and really get to know ourselves. Who am I? Who do I want to be? Do my beliefs align with this? Why do I believe what I believe? These are really powerful questions we need to be asking ourselves.
Often beliefs are tethered to life experiences and influences from characters in our lives. We are raised with certain values, thoughts, emotions projected upon us by the people in our lives. We don’t know any better so we accept these agreements as truths as Don Miguel Ruiz writes in his book “The Four Agreements.” The result is we drag this bag of beliefs everywhere we go and they shape every interaction we have in our lives. Some of them may even be lies. Maybe at one point we were told we couldn’t achieve certain things or weren’t good enough and we accepted these agreements.
Most people live their whole lives dragging around this baggage failing to stop and inventory their beliefs to see if they hold truth for themselves. As a result, they do not live authentically but remain confined within the expectations of the external.
Something beautiful rebellious and revolutionary
We create our own reality and it begins with our ideas of ourselves. The concept that we are in charge of creating our own reality, excites me. We live in a world where we are constantly told what we should do, how we should do it and who we should be. We are constantly being confronted with expectationsBut to come to the realization that none of that matters, is BEAUTIFUL, REBELLIOUS and REVOLUTIONARY. Instead of being bogged down with the triviality around us, we can freely soar above to a more authentic carefree existence.
With this realization our world begins to look different. We are suddenly in control, we are no longer controlled by outside forces. With this, comes true freedom. We begin to approach situations and relationships differently as we can now choose to accept into our lives what serves us and discard the rest.
After all if we do not believe in ourselves, how could we ever believe in leading a happy fulfilling life? So inventory your beliefs, throw out the lies, and make your story what you want it to be.